Thumb 12 steps cover e1565202138495 | Art by Karlene

When is enough enough? When is caregiving too much?

Some friends had been going to the monthly support meetings run by the Alzheimer’s Association. As our loved one’s abilities were lessened by the disease, more and more was happening during the month. We knew we wanted and needed to be together more often. We did get together weekly. We ran what amounts to our…

Some friends had been going to the monthly support meetings run by the Alzheimer’s Association. As our loved one’s abilities were lessened by the disease, more and more was happening during the month. We knew we wanted and needed to be together more often.

We did get together weekly. We ran what amounts to our own confidential self-help group. The 12 Steps for Caregiver.pdf is our beginning point.

A Social Worker was invited and asked to speak on just this topic.

Rather than a prepared talk, she simply brought a water glass, about 1/3 filled with water and asked one of us to hold it. Then she introduced herself, gave a bit of her background. She asked us to go around and do the same.

Meanwhile the member was still holding the glass. After a bit our speaker asked if it was getting heavy yet and if she could hold it just until the rest of us finished the introductions. Clearly by then it was getting to be a bit much.

Now the speaker asked if she thought she’d be able to continue to hold for the rest of the hour, how about until bedtime, how about for a week…

By then our group got to understand the meaning of “enough is enough”.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the applicability of that image to so much.